A Shoulder to Lean On
by kelly4
Summary: A shocking revelation ends up giving Lois a shoulder to lean on in a dark hour. Oneshot.


He watched her closely.

Outwardly, the casual observer would think she was doing what she always did when she was attacking a story. Gnawing at her pencil, typing furiously on the keyboard, every now and then taking a swig from her oversized coffee mug.

Lois Lane was in full reporter mode.

But he wasn't a casual observer. He noticed that every few moments she stopped her typing, took a deep breath, and blinked a few times as if to blink back tears she would never dare let show. He caught her, every ten minutes or so, glancing up at the desk across from her, the saddest of looks on her face before she retreated behind her 'reporter' wall and tried valiantly to lose herself in her work.

The thing was, he knew what was bothering her. Knew what had her throwing herself into a fairly meaningless story to keep busy, while the rest of the time was spent contacting everyone she knew, doing everything she could to find out the truth. Knew what had her choking up more times than he could count, before she would force it down, into the deepest parts of her so no one would know.

But he did. And over the years he'd come to care for her like a daughter. She reminded him so much of himself, the way she attacked a story and took no prisoners, that a connection had grown between them, a begrudging affection that he wouldn't change for the world.

And it was that affection, his affection for both of them actually, that had him watching her so closely this night. Perry White sighs as he looks out at her, the rest of the bullpen silent around her as they'd all left hours ago to get home to their families.

But he knew she had no one to go home to. And he knew why.

Perry watches as she once again stops her typing. This time, she leans back in her chair, her eyes lingering on his desk across from hers. Gently, she rubs her thumb against the platinum wedding band, then slowly lowers her hand to the beautiful silver and turquoise bracelet on her left hand. Just as she gets to it though, she stops, closing her eyes briefly, hesitating, before tenderly placing her fingers against it. After a moment, Perry swears he can see the smallest hint of a smile on her face and a sigh of relief escaping her lips. The momentary respite is just that though, momentary, as the sadness that had been there for the last three days takes over again.

Perry White had always been a man of action. For the last six months though, he had taken none. Content to let things play out, content that the two people he'd come to respect and care for so much were dealing just fine with all they had on their plates.

But tonight, as he watched the sadness, the anxiety radiate off her as she took phone call after phone call, working back and forth between her fluff piece and the mystery that had unfortunately taken over her life that past 3 days, he knew it was time.

He quietly opens the door to his office, leaning out, he heard her as she was getting off her latest phone call.

"Yeah…thanks Ollie. I'll be in touch," she says quietly. Seeing Perry looking at her out of the corner of her eye, she snaps her cell shut and turns toward him.

"Hey Chief, that story on the Botanical Gardens is just about done."

"Don't worry about it, kid. Gotta minute?" he asks, gesturing towards his office.

For a moment, he can see the terror pass through Lois' eyes, as she immediately reaches down to touch her bracelet again. As soon as she does, she relaxes…somewhat, he notices.

Despite his gruff exterior, Perry felt his heart twist a little bit at the sight. He knew exactly what she was thinking.

That he had bad news.

"Sure," she says, heading into his office. When she gets there, she does what she always does. Heads over to his desk, her fingers attracted to the many little 'toys' he had littering it. Like him, she could never stay still for long.

"So...," she asks, and Perry can tell she's trying her best to sound nonchalant. "Any word on Superman?"

"None yet."

She nods, feeling both relieved and disappointed at the same time.

"Clark still in Smallville?"

With her back to him, he couldn't see that at those four little words, an almost crushing pain had enveloped her, her eyes closing in response as she tried to get her bearings. The lie she had to keep telling, a lie she wished was nothing but the truth.

"Yeah…yeah, there was some kind of emergency at the farm and it hasn't been resolved yet," she says, her voice strong, belying the frazzled nerves underneath. She had gotten so used to coming up with excuses at this point, it seemed second nature to her, no matter what tornado of emotions were swirling inside of her.

But this time, it was no ordinary excuse. It wasn't like the other times, when she had to cover him when he flew off to save the world.

This was different.

Clark had flown off their balcony three nights ago. And she hadn't heard from him since.

It was the middle of the night, as it often was when he heard he was needed, as the world didn't stop spinning even when it was nighttime in Metropolis. Clark had done what he usually did, leaned closer to her for a moment, savoring the warmth between them before he had to fly off and leave her. He had whispered to her, something about a fire in California and that he would be back as soon as he could, leaving a soft kiss against her shoulder before heading off to where he was needed.

When she had awoken the following morning, she hadn't really expected him to be back. The fires that sometimes raged in California kept him busy for a good day or two before he was able to help the firefighters get them under control. She had had plenty of time to come up with the 'Smallville' excuse, and figured that would be perfect to cover how ever long he would need to be away.

Hours had passed, and Lois felt a growing concern. She couldn't place it, she just felt that something wasn't right.

A fear that was later confirmed when a source phoned the Daily Planet, saying Superman had disappeared. He had left the scene of the fire after it had been contained to head up to San Francisco, having heard a radio call of a bridge collapse. The chief firefighter had radioed up to the emergency workers there to let them know he was on his way…but he never showed up.

From that moment on, there had been no word of him. No sight of him.

And Lois couldn't remember a time when she felt more terrified.

Gaining a sense of composure, the best she could under the circumstances, she turns towards Perry.

"You still have that contact in the San Francisco Public Works department right?"

"I already tried him, he told me he'd let me know if anything comes up."

Lois nods. He sees her touch the bracelet once more, again accompanied by the slightest of relieved sighs as she does.

"So, what'd you wanna see me about?"

Perry shrugs. "Just wanted to see how you were holding up."

"About what?"

"I know you're worried about Superman."

Lois looks up at him sharply, momentarily caught off guard by his words.

"Aren't we all?"

"Yeah, of course. But…I'd think you would be more than anyone."

"Oh, not you too."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on Chief, you know all the rumors. Superman and Lois Lane. Of course, none of those rumors take into account how much I love my husband, or take into account that Superman would never get involved with a married woman in the first place."

"Of course he wouldn't. But in your case, he doesn't have to does he?"

Lois eyes him carefully, then quickly turns back towards his desk, her hands once again busying themselves, this time by playing with the various pencils in his leather pencil cup, making a 'tick tick tick' sound as her fingers nervously rattle them around.

"Because Superman is married to you."

Silence.

Catching herself quickly, Lois shakes her head, forcing a soft laugh out of her mouth.

"That's out there, even for you Chief. Besides, you know who I'm married to. Tall, glasses, clumsy but…cute."

"Lois…I know."

He sees her stiffen immediately, and he can almost see that mind of hers willing herself to relax, to do what she always does in these situations. Cover.

"Look, I don't know what you think you know…"

"Clark ever tell you about the time I met him in Smallville?"

The question is met with silence, a silence he takes as an affirmative answer.

"I was pretty crocked back in those days, but it's amazing what years of sobriety can do. Can cause memories you thought gone forever to come rushing back to you."

"That, coupled with the fact that Clark seemed to disappear everytime Superman made a save, not to mention Superman's focused…attention, for lack of a better word, on you…well let's just say I finally put one and one together and got two."

Perry notices her shoulders, still tense, her fingers still frozen over the cup of pencils on his desk. Walking over to her, he places a hand on her shoulder, feeling her jump slightly in response.

"You don't have to worry, kid. His secret, your secret…it's safe with me. I have no intention, or desire, to unmask, so to speak, Superman."

His words, and the sincerity they're spoken with, cause Lois to relax a bit. Normally, she would go out of her way to deny, deny, deny in this situation. But, knowing her editor, she knew it wouldn't do any good.

And she also knew he could be trusted.

"How long have you known?" she asks softly.

"About six months."

Lois turns to face him, and he sees a hint of gratitude in her eyes. "So, you've been sitting on the scoop of the century for six months?"

"This is one of those scoops that would cause more harm than good. What Clark does…what he can do as Superman? That's a gift to this world. One I don't take lightly."

Lois nods, a grateful smile on her lips. "Thank you."

She steps away from him, walking over to the plush brown sofa and taking a seat.

"So…why tonight?"

Perry smiles, in that gruff way only he can. "I thought you could use a shoulder to lean on."

Shaking her head slightly, putting on her 'brave' face, she responds, "I'm fine."

"You're not fine, kid. You're terrified. And the worst thing is, you have to hide it…from everyone."

"Everyone thinks your husband is in Smallville. Sure, you're concerned about Superman, but you can't show anymore concern than anyone else, because why would you? You're happily married."

Lois sniffs at that, blinking back the tears threatening to spill over.

"But the truth is, your husband isn't in Smallville. He's out there, missing…and you can't act like a wife, frightened for her missing husband. You have to be simply a citizen of the world, concerned for Superman."

"And I thought, maybe, you'd like to have one person you don't have to pretend with."

She looks up at him, her eyes almost overflowing with tears. Tears, of course, she's trying to hold back. Recognizing that typical Lane toughness, he sits down next to her, gently putting his arm around her shoulder.

"It's okay, kid. It's okay to be scared. Crying for him, it doesn't mean you've given up."

And with those words being all the permission a woman stretched to the limit needed, the dam broke, Lois, for the first time in three days, allowed herself to breakdown. Leaning against Perry's shoulder, the tears break loose as she finally lets out all of the fear, anxiety, and sadness she's feeling.

Perry gently strokes her hair, silently comforting her as she cries. After a while, her tears ebb, her sobs quiet…and he notices again her reaching towards the bracelet on her wrist, gently touching it. This time, instead of seeing her sigh of relief, he feels a bit of the tension leave her as her fingers come in contact it.

"Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer it if you can't or don't want to."

Lois wipes at her eyes and sits up.

"Sure."

"You keep touching that bracelet. Why?"

Looking down at it, she smiles softly. "Clark gave it to me."

"I figured that but…is there something more to it? It just seems like…you visibly relax each time you touch it."

Taking a moment, Lois leans back against the sofa, and Perry can almost see her weighing her options. Seeming to have decided, she takes his hand and gently places it on the bracelet.

"How does it feel to you?"

Perry shrugs, looking a tad confused. "Cool. Like metal."

"That's not how it feels to me," she says quietly. "It's a long story, and I can't explain it all…but when I touch this bracelet, it feels warm. Not burning hot or painful, but warm. Warm with life, I guess. This bracelet…it connects me to Clark. I don't know how, but it does. And as long as it's warm, I know that he's alive."

She sniffs slightly, a single tear falling down her cheek. "I don't know where he is, and I don't know if he's okay. But I know he's alive. And I guess right now, just knowing that, is something I can hold on to."

Perry nods in response, slightly awed and wanting to ask more questions, but knowing it's not the right time. Lois stands up, and he follows suit, standing beside her.

"I need to get back out there, I have a few more contacts to check in with," she says, her voice quiet but determined.

"I'll do the same."

With a sad smile, she stands slightly on her tip toes and kisses Perry on the cheek.

"Thanks, Chief."

He smiles in response, his eyes misting in spite of himself.

"Anytime, kid."

**Two Days Later**

Clark Kent never thought he'd be so happy to see the bullpen again.

It had been a long five days. After he had left the scene of the original fire, en route to San Francisco, he'd seen as he was flying the scene of an accident. Burning cars, twisted metal, and cries for help.

Swooping down, he had begun to help the blond woman who he had heard crying out of the wreck, when he'd felt it.

The stabbing pain, the nauseating turn of his stomach, the strength leaving his limbs.

Even in that weakened state, his eyesight picked up that the woman had not a scratch on her. And then his eyes fell to the license plate.

"LL2".

Lex.

Yet another one of his attempts to get Superman. After he'd resurfaced, Clark and Lois had been relieved to find out that Lex remembered nothing of his and Clark's showdown in the Arctic. But he had become obsessed with Clark's alter ego, making it his living to destroy him, while playing the wealthy martyr to the general public.

At least the general public that didn't know better.

The woman, noticing where his stare had fallen, immediately produced the small green rock from her bag and stuffed into the sleeve of his Superman suit. Then she'd taken off, probably to go collect whatever millions Lex promised her.

Clark had used every ounce of strength he'd had to crawl away from that scene. Finally, he'd collapsed in, ironically, a corn field that ran along the long stretch of the old and rarely used California highway. He had taken his last bit of strength to retrieve the small piece of Kryptonite from his sleeve and tossed it away.

Unfortunately it hadn't been tossed far enough, and the glowing green rock was still able to affect him, even from the short distance he'd tossed it away.

He'd lain there like that for almost three days he later found out. The corn stalks concealed him, and that particular road was so rarely used that there wasn't a lot of traffic to spot him even if they hadn't.

The last thing he remembered doing was reaching for the chain under his suit, pulling it out with the little strength he could muster, and wrapping his hand around the platinum band hanging from it.

_I love you…_

As his eyes closed, the ring nestled in his closed hand, the last vision he held onto was her, her gorgeous eyes and beautiful smile, whispering to him that she loved him too.

And it was that face, albeit a tear streaked one, that he had woken up to in their apartment in Metropolis. Lois, being the resourceful woman she always was, had immediately called in Oliver and the Justice League when he hadn't resurfaced. After what seemed fruitless searching, Oliver and Dinah had found him in the cornfield, and, upon seeing the green rock still glowing a short distance away from him, had immediately gotten him out there and back to Metropolis.

After another day and a half of sweating out the effects of the Kryptonite, he had felt himself again, eager to get back to work.

Handing Lois her coffee, he leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"You sure you're feeling okay?"

"I can't stay cooped up another day Lo," he responds, which earns him an eyeroll from Lois, clearly still frustrated from their morning 'discussion' about Clark returning to work. "Nice, this from the woman who gets stir crazy after being housebound for less than three hours."

"Save it Smallville. You scared the hell outta me, I get to nag for at least a few more days."

"Yeah, you do," he says quietly, reaching down and taking her hand, gently squeezing it. "But I'm really okay."

It's this sight that greets Perry as he walks into the newsroom.

"Good to have you back, Kent," he says brusquely, heading for his office.

Watching him go, Clark turns back to Lois.

"I should talk to him."

"You do that, then we can get prepped for that interview with the aid from the Councilman Davis' office."

With a last lingering touch of her hair as Lois begins to organize, well in her way anyway, her notes, Clark turns and heads for Perry's office.

Knocking slightly on the open door, Clark pushes up his glasses and steps in.

"You gotta second, Chief?"

Smiling to himself, head down, Perry waves him in, having fully expected this the minute he saw Clark in the bullpen. Clark fully enters the office, closing the door behind him. He takes a seat in the chair facing Perry's desk.

"Everything okay in Smallville, Kent?"

Clark chuckles. "Nice try, Chief."

Perry shrugs. "Figured I'd let you take the lead."

"I have to say, on the one hand, I was kind of surprised when Lois told me. On the other hand, I was wondering how long it would take you to remember what happened in Smallville."

"It took a lot longer than I'm proud of to put it all together," Perry grumbled, eliciting a grin from Clark.

The two men sit silently for a moment, almost fully realizing the weight of the discussion they're having.

"You don't have to worry, Clark. I told Lois and I'm telling you. Your secret's safe with me."

Clark nods. "I know."

Perry looks at him quizzically. "Just like that?"

"Chief, if you were gonna spill, you would have done it six months ago. Besides, I know how much you care about Lois. Even if you'd never admit it out loud," he finishes, the corner of his mouth lifted into a slight grin.

"Not just Lois," he says gruffly.

"I know that too."

Perry clears his throat, busily shifting papers on his desk. The tough talking editor wasn't used to letting his reporters get to him, but for some reason, these two did. From the moment he met them, he knew. They were special.

"I'm glad you know, actually."

"You are?"

Clark stands up, turning to face the bullpen, his eyes falling on Lois busily typing at her computer.

"I know how hard this is for her," he says quietly. "I know she has to hide how scared she is when I go off to do…whatever. And she's had to go through a lot of that alone. I mean, my mom isn't in Metropolis, Chloe's in Gotham, and yeah, she can pick up the phone, but it's not the same as having a shoulder here to lean on," he continues, turning back to face Perry. "I know, though, that now she has you. And you can keep an eye on her when I'm not around."

"You can count on it, Kent. Even if she doesn't wanna let me," Perry finishes with a knowing smirk.

"Thanks, Chief."

With that, Clark turns and begins to head out the door.

"Oh, and Kent?"

"Yeah?"

"I expect a write up of that interview with Davis for tomorrow's early edition."

Clark smiles, shaking his head slightly.

It seemed that some things would never change.

And for that, he was glad.

The End


End file.
